Hollywood, FL: Uncover the Hidden Gems of The Tel!
Hollywood, FL: The Tel's True Colors (and a Few Hidden Sunburns) - A Rambling Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. Because I just got back from Hollywood, Florida, specifically "The Tel," or whatever they're calling it this week, and frankly, my brain is still marinating in sunshine and… well, let's just say some things could have been better. This isn't some sanitized travel blog; this is the raw, unfiltered truth, seasoned with a healthy dose of "did I really see that?"
Metadata & keywords (because apparently, that's how the internet works now): Hollywood FL, The Tel, Hotel Review, Florida Hotels, Beach Vacation, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Restaurants, Family Friendly, Wheelchair Accessible, Free Wi-Fi, Cleanliness, Safety, Covid Protocols, Luxury Hotel, Florida Travel, Sun and Fun.
Let's start with the accessibility because that's important. Seriously, kudos to The Tel for making an effort. Wheelchair accessible areas were clearly marked, and I saw ramps everywhere, which is a massive plus in my book. The elevator was a lifesaver (especially after those extra slices of key lime pie…). Now, did every single corner of the hotel feel perfectly accessible? No, probably not. But the intent was there, and that's more than I can say for some places. They even had facilities for disabled guests in the rooms, which I poked around in with curious eyes.
On-site accessible restaurants/lounges: Check. Plenty of options, and thankfully, no tiny, inaccessible tables crammed too close together. The Poolside bar was particularly appealing for a quick drink and snack. More on that later…
Internet, Internet, Internet! Okay, this is key. The promise of Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! was a huge selling point. And, thankfully, it delivered. The Internet access – wireless was decent, too. I even managed to get some work done (don't tell my boss). There was also Internet access – LAN if you really needed a hardwire connection, which I appreciated because sometimes, you just need a reliable connection, you know?
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (AKA My Attempt at Zen – Failed Miserably):
Oh, boy. This is where things get… interesting. The Spa was the big draw. I went in expecting bliss, and I got… well, let's say a slightly less-than-Blissful experience.
- Spa/sauna: Okay, the sauna was pretty standard. Hot, steamy… good for sweating out the stress (and maybe a few margaritas). The Steamroom, though? That's where the problems started. I'm not going to lie, I walked into it, expecting this beautiful, fragrant mist. Nope, it smelled like a slightly sweaty gym sock. Fail.
- Body wrap: Now this was the big ticket item. I opted (against the advice of my inner voice) for a seaweed body wrap. Picture this: I’m wrapped in what feels like cold, slimy algae. The therapist, bless her heart, tried to be reassuring, even as I flailed slightly under the pressure. Let's just say I’m still finding tiny bits of seaweed. On the plus side, my skin did feel kinda smooth after… kinda.
- Massage: The massage was good. A little too clinical feeling, but good. I'm not complaining.
- Pool with view: The pool was magnificent! I spent hours there, just bobbing in the warm water, looking up at the palm trees, pretending to be Zen. They really nailed the Swimming pool [outdoor]!
- Gym/fitness: I used the Fitness center once. I'm not a gym person, so I can’t tell ya much. It seemed pretty well equipped though, I guess.
Cleanliness and Safety (The COVID Tango):
Okay, real talk time. I'm a bit of a germaphobe at the best of times. I'm no Howard Hughes, but I don't want to catch anything. So, I was eagerly looking at the Anti-viral cleaning products and precautions The Tel takes. They had a lot. Things like Hand sanitizer dispensers everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol was a plus.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: They said they were doing this, and the room did seem clean.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Yep, visible.
- Safe dining setup: Definitely some effort made here. The tables were spaced out, and I saw staff cleaning tables diligently.
- Individually-wrapped food options at the breakfast buffet, which I appreciated.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: This is good to have.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking (The Highs and the Lows):
The food was… a mixed bag. The buffet was a riot of choices.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Okay, the Western breakfast was solid. The omelet station was a lifesaver. They even had a bit of Asian breakfast.
- Restaurants: There were a few, but the only one I really frequented was the poolside bar.
- Poolside bar: This is where my memories get blurry. Good cocktails. Too many cocktails. The service was slow when you needed a refill, and the staff seemed a little overwhelmed in the evenings. But I did get some good food there.
- Snack bar: Yes. Convenient.
- Room service [24-hour]: I definitely used this! Especially after a long day at the pool, or after a particularly grueling body wrap session.
Services and Conveniences (Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!):
- Concierge: They were helpful. Pointing me in the right direction, offering some suggestions.
- Daily housekeeping: The room was kept pristine.
- Luggage storage: I used this. Convenient.
- Cash withdrawal - thank goodness. Money is needed.
- Gift/souvenir shop: A little pricey, but there if you needed it.
- Dry cleaning and Laundry service: They had these!
- Elevator: Yup.
- Doorman: Always a nice touch.
- Air conditioning in public area: Crucial.
- Food delivery: They had a list of local delivery options which was nice.
Available in All Rooms (The Nitty Gritty):
- Air conditioning: Thank GOD! It was hot.
- Free bottled water: Necessary.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential for a caffeine addict like myself.
- Hair dryer: Yes.
- In-room safe box: Always appreciated.
- Mini bar: Tempting. I resisted.
- Non-smoking: Excellent. I don't want to be around smokers!
- Satellite/cable channels: Important!
- Shower: Yes.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Again, a lifesaver.
- Window that opens: A little air is always lovely but it's not a big deal with the AC.
For the Kids (Bless Their Hearts):
I don't have kids, but I saw plenty of families, so I guess The Tel is Family/child friendly. I saw one small Kids meal which was nice.
Overall Vibe & Quirky Observations:
Okay, here's the thing: The Tel is trying. They’re trying to be a luxurious experience, but they're a little clumsy in their attempts. The place is a bit sterile, but with a little bit of character. The staff, for the most part, were pleasant, although sometimes, the enthusiasm seemed a little forced.
My biggest takeaway? This isn't a perfectly polished place. It’s got some rough edges. But the location? The pool? The feeling of being somewhere warm? That's what makes it worth it.
Final Verdict:
Would I go back? Probably. With lower expectations and a better seaweed-avoidance strategy. Just don’t expect pure perfection, and you’ll have a pretty good time. And for the love of all that is holy, tip the barista. I think they’re working extra hard.
Ahilya Bai's Gaya Getaway: Uncover the Secrets of This Historic Rest House!
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because we're about to dive headfirst into my Hollywood, Florida adventure. This ain't your perfectly curated Instagram feed. This is the REAL DEAL, a messy, glorious, probably-slightly-sunburnt memory-making expedition.
Hollywood, FL: Where the Ocean Kisses Concrete (and I Probably Kissed a Tourist's Face)
Day 1: Arrival, Sand, and Existential Dread (Plus, a Near-Disaster)
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown Ft. Lauderdale Airport (FLL). Whew, made it! The flight was a nightmare. Little Timmy behind me decided the best way to pass the time was to karate chop my seat. Luckily, I have a thick skin (literally and figuratively, thanks to my questionable sun care routine). Grab a shuttle and head over to the The Diplomat Beach Resort. This place is HUGE. And… honestly? A little intimidating. I’m already feeling like a tiny ant in a skyscraper.
- 2:30 PM: Check-in, Poolside Panic. Okay, the room is nice, overlooking the ocean. Gorgeous, even. But I immediately had a minor existential crisis. What does one DO at a place like this? I'm not a "resort person". I feel like I'm supposed to be effortlessly chic and sipping a fruity drink, but I'm pretty sure I just look like a sweaty tourist. Tried to order a Pina Colada and I accidentally ordered a side of fries.
- 3:30 PM: Beach Bliss (and a Near-Fatal Encounter with a Seagull). Okay, I did it. I braved the beach. The sand is ridiculously soft. The ocean is sparkly. And then…BAM. A kamikaze seagull tried to steal my sandwich. LET ME TELL YOU, I DEFENDED MY LUNCH LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. Victory tastes of salt, sunscreen, and terror.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a Random Place: Found a random restaurant called "Billy's Stone Crab". The stone crab was good, I actually liked it, the ambience was whatever… I was too tired and hungry for any other option.
- 8:00 PM: Evening Stroll & Doubt. Walked along the boardwalk. The sunset was beautiful, and the lights were pretty. However, I noticed how many couples were there. Is anyone going to fall in love with a clumsy, frizzy-haired woman who nearly got attacked by birds today?
Day 2: Art Deco Dreams, Overzealous Tan, and Retail Therapy
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast Blunder. Tried the hotel breakfast buffet. Verdict? Overpriced, underwhelming, and I’m pretty sure I saw a rogue fly that had some fun with the muffins.
- 10:00 AM: Hollywood Beach Boardwalk Exploration. Walked, saw the shops. The "souvenir" shops are calling my name, but I think I'm gonna pass today.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch & the Perfect Margarita. The Boardwalk is actually really nice. I took a restaurant named "GG's Waterfront Bar and Grill". Ordered a margarita, the view was amazing, I fell in love in the moment.
- 2:00 PM: The Perfect tan, or Not. I decided to soak the sun a little bit more. But then the sun burnt me, I'm red.
- 4:00 PM: Retail Therapy. Went to the shops, I ended buying just 1 shirt.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner & the Night. I decided to order food service. I don't have much to tell.
Day 3: Spa Day and a Splash of Culture, and the realization that I'm actually enjoying myself
- 10:00 AM: Spa Day. I have a massage appointment. The massage was nice, they gave me a complimentary mimosa. I feel relaxed.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. I went to a restaurant called "S3 Restaurant". The food was delicious, and the view was beautiful.
- 3:00 PM: Cultural Excursion: Decided to go to the Art and Culture Center of Hollywood. It was nice, there was a lot of pieces.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. Went back to the "GG's Waterfront Bar and Grill". Same view, different day, it was nice.
- 8:00 PM: The realization that I'm enjoying myself. Looked at the ocean. Feeling good.
Day 4: Departure and Realizations (and a Promise to Return)
- 9:00 AM: Farewell Breakfast. Ate some breakfast.
- 10:00 AM: Last Stroll. Did my last stroll to the beach.
- 12:00 AM: Check-Out. I checked out.
- 1:00 PM: Fly Home. Leaving Hollywood.
Final Thoughts:
This trip wasn't perfect. I sunburned. I had a few embarrassing moments. But you know what? It was real. It was fun. I relaxed. I did things alone. And now I can't wait to return.
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Xin Yuan Castle Hotel, Yilan, Taiwan!
Hollywood, FL: Uh... So, What's the Deal with "The Tel"? (A Rambling Guide)
Okay, so, what *is* "The Tel"? Seriously, is it a hotel? A secret society? My therapist?
Alright, buckle up, 'cause this is the thing about Hollywood, FL... "The Tel" is the local nickname, a shorthand, for the Diplomat Beach Resort Hollywood, Curio Collection by Hilton. Think of it as the glamorous grandma of Hollywood. It's *the* place. You *know* it. You’ve probably seen it in a movie, or at least a commercial for… well, anything. It’s big, it’s beachfront, it’s… well, it *thinks* it's special. Truthfully? It *is* kind of special, but mostly because everyone *thinks* it is. And good luck getting ANY sense of "local" life involved there, you'd be better off trying to befriend a flamingo.
Is the Diplomat fancy? Like, "formal dinner on a yacht" fancy?
Okay, "fancy" is relative, right? I saw a guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt at the lobby bar last week, so no, not yacht-fancy-strict. But, you *could* be "formal dinner on a yacht" fancy, if you want. They've got restaurants, some dress codes, some of them are trying *real* hard. The vibe is...aspirational, let's say that. Think "lots of shiny surfaces, attempts at sophistication, and a lingering scent of expensive sunscreen." I once stumbled into a wedding rehearsal dinner there, and the sheer *amount* of perfectly coiffed hair was staggering. My own hair was stuck in the humidity a quarter of the way down my neck. I felt like the dirty dishwater in a field of diamonds. So, yeah. Pretty fancy. But wear comfortable shoes. You’ll be doing a lot of walking, and dodging the golf carts.
What's the beach like? Is it crowded? Is there any *actual* sand?
Listen, the beach *is* why you're here, let's be honest. And yes, there *is* sand. Lots of it. White, sandy, and, let's face it, pretty awesome. The part directly in front of the Diplomat? Yeah, crowded. Expect a sea of sunbathers, umbrellas that would make Mary Poppins jealous, and the relentless thrum of jet skis in the distance. My advice? Walk. Walk north or south, and you’ll find pockets of relative peace. The further you walk, the fewer the people (and the fewer the high-end beach chair rentals). I prefer south, towards certain… establishments… but hey, to each their own. Just watch out for those sand crabs; they’re sneaky little buggers. Or, bring your own jet ski.
Are there any "hidden gems" in the area surrounding the Diplomat? Like, off-the-beaten-path stuff?
"Hidden gems," eh? That's a loaded question. Look, it's not like you're stumbling upon a lost Mayan ruin here. Everything is, realistically, within a short drive. The biggest "hidden gem" is probably the *lack* of hidden gems. It's all pretty straightforward. But, fine, I'll give you some stuff:
- GG's Waterfront Bar and Grill: A little further south. Good food, great sunsets. Get there early, because everyone else in South Florida also thinks it's a hidden gem.
- The Broadwalk: Not *really* hidden, but a classic. Walk. Bike. People-watch. Eat ice cream. Prepare to dodge the golf carts and aggressive rollerbladers.
- A local favorite: You know, there are the really local places that you only find out about by *being* local... that are not exactly "hidden". They're *loved* by the locals, and they're what make it worth it!
Food recommendations! Besides the Diplomat's pricey restaurants, where should I eat? (And what should I order?)
Okay, listen up, because I have STRONG feelings about food. Ignoring the hotel? Good choice. Outside? *Much* better. * For casual: There is a small burger joint around there, the name escapes me, it's down the street. Best burgers in the world. Just... trust me. It's a *burger*, it's *good*. The fries are decent. * For something a little fancier (without the Diplomat price tag): I'd recommend searching around... there are some choices. Seafood is always going to be a good bet, this goes without saying. Be sure to try some local spots. * What to avoid: Anything that looks overly touristy. Anything with "Lobster" plastered on the front. You'll find better seafood and a better deal somewhere else. * My absolute recommendation: *Go find the burger place*. I'm serious. Order the burger. Get the fries. *Leave happy*. The end.
What about entertainment? Besides the beach, what's there to *do*?
Well, besides the endless expanse of sand and water? That's where people find the struggle. Seriously. The beach is the main draw. But, you've got: * The Broadwalk: As mentioned. People-watching, biking, walking, the aforementioned ice cream. It's the heartbeat of Hollywood. * Live Music: Check local listings. There are bars and venues that host bands. It can be hit or miss, but you might discover something cool. * Casinos: Are everywhere! If you're into that sort of thing. I'm not. But hey, people like to gamble. * Shopping: The shops around The Tel are... typical. Head north or south for more interesting options. * The Real Entertainment: Find a local. Actually *talk* to someone. Ask them where to go, what to do. You'll get a more authentic experience. The internet gives *facts*. People give *life*.
Is this a kid-friendly place? Should I bring my whole family?
Oh, yeah, *very*. The beach is perfect for kids. There's plenty of space to run around, build sandcastles, and generally be a menace. The Diplomat itself has kid-friendly pools and other stuff, for what it's worth. I saw a kid once attempt to build a sand castle on the edge of the pools, with the kind of dedication I could never muster. Respect.Smart Traveller Inns
